Up or down?

Up or down. It’s an ever continual debate with no definitive answer. Sure, there are arguments either way but in the end it seems that men always win. The toilet seat is almost always up when they exit the bathroom. Why?

Unless they’ve been properly trained, it takes a lot of effort to lift it up in the first place. And once it’s been lifted and business is done, what man has the time and energy (or forethought) to put it back down again.

And therein lies a primary problem. First, women want men to put it up; then they want us to put it down. This supports a basic complaint that men have about women…women don’t know what they want. It’s faulty logic perhaps, but it works for us men.

But in reality, women are right. Aside from it being curteous, women have percentages on their side. They sit for both toilet reasons and men sit for one reason. That is a 75% ratio of down to up.


Ill.: Dreamstime

Interestingly, according to some scientists putting just the seat down is not enough. The lid should be closed, too. That is because of something called the aerosol effect. A light mist of water spreads into the air around the toilet when it is flushed. You can imagine what those microscopic droplets contain. So seat down/lid down is a matter of hygiene for germ-a-phobes. I’m not one of them.

However, I do get grossed out when I have to wipe someone else’s pee off the seat. That happens with males in the house as well as at parties when I am the next to go into the bathroom after a man has been there. I don’t want anyone to think I dribbled on the seat.

Social faux-pas aside, it’s clear that men are winning this debate. But are we really winning? The seat up/seat down issue only causes fights. Imagine the potental benefits if we men did start to put the seat back down. The mind wanders.

And if that is not enough incentive for the male species, there’s one final way for women to resolve this annoying conundrum. The next time you use the toilet in the evening, splash some water on your backside and upper thighs. Then crawl into bed with the man in your life, turn your back, and rub against him. When he comments that you’re back is wet, let him know that it’s because you just sat on the peed-on toilet seat.

If that doesn’t solve the problem it might be time for his and her bathrooms or a urinal.

By Dan Franch, July 2015

Dan is also a columnist and cartoonist for wort.lu/eng.

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