On being judgemental (or…In my opinion)

There are two sides to every story. “In my opinion” is self-explanatory, at least for the fans of The Good Wife series; I am certain they know exactly why. It is, therefore, needless to say that all that follows is entirely my opinion.

Do you ever notice people around you whose main purpose in life seems to be judging? Judging other people’s lives, actions, words… Well, if you haven’t got them around you, then you are most certainly reading their virtual judgments. The illustrious Umberto Eco stated at a press conference earlier this year that social media has given birth to a whole new generation, and I quote, of “imbecils”, giving everyone the possibility to express freely what they were once sharing over a glass at a bar. I wouldn’t go that far, but yet again who am I to contradict him.

Nevertheless, I keep noticing people who always seem to have an opinion about everything and everyone, which isn’t necessarily wrong, except they can’t help themselves making a statement about it, or to some extent, what was considered back in the day, gossiping. Gossip may be as old as the human race, yet I always resented the word and the action itself. Call me childish, but I always thought that if you judge too much or worse, gossip, you attract, let´s just call it bad karma.

Do husbands need to know everything?

Bright women always know how to keep certain things for themselves. Did you ever share a confidence, perhaps some detail that wasn’t affecting anybody else, with a friend over a girly talk only to end up realising the next day that their boyfriends or husbands were very much in on your little secret? I know, you may be smiling right now, but I never quite understood the need to verbally share a secret that was never yours to tell. Don´t judge me just yet, I do think your husband should be your best friend, I just don´t think he should be informed if your girlfriend is ummm… having a bad hair day.

women_gossip

© Balasoiu Claudia | Dreamstime.com

Nowadays we seem to be offered on a plate (the plate being social media and the online so-called studies) recipes about everything: How to lead a successful life, how to raise perfect children, how to have a great career and at the same time knowing how to balance it with your personal life and, as you may know by now, the list goes on and starts again with the whys… In my personal case, life has taught me, so far at least, that the only 100% valid recipes are the ones for food…

Judging is a waste of time

But the why part is still there in my head. The why that continues with “are we so interested in other people’s actions”? Why are we so sure we know the right way of doing things? Why do we have to judge another person? Especially not knowing the whole story behind that person. And I am telling you, we never do… know the whole story. Why do we waste precious time thinking about this and that from another person’s life? We only have one life, and so much to learn, to deal with, to achieve, to experience, to overcome, to think about, to love… why waste time on judging, or gossiping or giving bad advice when the answer doesn’t lay with us. No one has it, maybe we´ll all learn it with time.

By the time I was done writing this, I decided to play a bit and google the words “judge of character”, and this is what came up, randomly: Computers judge personality better than friends, how to judge character in only 5 steps (that easy – and I just wrote a bunch here!!), there was even a great deal with a title that was beginning with how to (yes you´ve guessed the rest of the title). Surprisingly, at a quick glance at least, the words dogs, great judges of character…kept popping up. So that pretty much says it, doesn’t it? (Yep, keep on with that smile)

By Sorana Popescu, October 2015

P.S: As my opinions on the subject didn’t seem broad enough to reach some kind of conclusion, I decided to search some more for a little bit of Roman wisdom to clue us in. And this is what I came up with:

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” – Marcus Aurelius

 

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